Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
