giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
