i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
