I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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