The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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