Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
