It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
