I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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