I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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