Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
