I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's never too late to be topless.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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