Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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