after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
