i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
