haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
