so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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