Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
