her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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