I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
this hospital has no fireball
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
