look no pants
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
