Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
