"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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