I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
