last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
