btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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