Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
