youre lurking in front of me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize