So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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