you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
