Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
