It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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