You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
