i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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