if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
