I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
