I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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