and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
