Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
