Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
