Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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