I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
