It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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