the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
