i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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