Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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