Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
