Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
