Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
