i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
