when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
