How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
