Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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